“GPS saved our marriage.” ~ Lee
This is a phrase that I say with a tone of humor, but in reality, directions were a common point of contention early on. I (Lee) do all the driving, unless it is absolutely necessary that Emily drives. This would inevitably result in missed turns, late in pointing out that we need to be in the turn lane, or simple miscommunication about how far away we are from our destination. What we have learned in using GPS has taught us a valuable lesson in our marriage.
We need a third party to help guide our marriage
Relying on Emily to be the navigator and myself to be the pilot seems like a reasonable plan, but in reality it didn’t play to our strengths as a couple. Emily does not necessary want to be the navigator and I am particular in how I receive directions. I want to see the map and know the directions of a compass in relation to our trajectory (I.e. head north and then turn east). Emily prefers having printed directions in paragraph form. Both are good and effective. The trouble comes at the first miscue. We immediately begin blaming each other for being difficult, not listening, or not doing it the best way. It was (possibly) mostly my fault. So when we began using GPS from our phones it made traveling with each other much less of an anxious scenario. We could just focus on conversation with each other, or more often in Emily’s case, taking a good nap! We realized we could both trust that Google Maps or Apple Maps knew better than we did and we accepted it’s guidance!
The same is true elsewhere in our marriage and our journey together overall. There are many things in our lives, and specifically in our marriage, that we need someone else to give us guidance. A few of the third parties we accept as a guide for our marriage include mutually appreciated blogs, podcasts and books as well as a few older couples that have become close friends, our church and the Bible. It’s ok to look outside of yourselves for help, encouragement, and direction. If your marriage is struggling it is likely you cannot overcome it all on your own. It’s not worth losing your marriage because you won’t have resources helping you. We encourage all couples to consider counseling when the struggle seems to be mounting to the point you begin questioning if you can overcome it.
A few of the third parties we accept as a guide for our
marriage include mutually appreciated blogs,
podcasts and books as well as a few older
couples that have become close friends,
our church and the Bible.
We need someone who can warn of potential problems
Just like a GPS or an app such as WAZE that can warn you of pending trouble, you need people who can let you know what to look out for. That’s what Marriage is Simply was created for. It is more preventative than prescriptive. 16 years of marriage has taught us many things and we want to a source of help before the struggle gets too difficult. We have had that in our lives and we know how valuable it is to be proactive in investing in the good health of your marriage.
We need to find what works for us
Every couple is different and the solution can be just as varied. Some need counseling early and often while others can apply what they learn from blogs and podcasts. Some may go to church and read the Bible while others need the personal touch another couple that holds them accountable. We at Marriage Is Simply would recommend all of the above! There is nothing more important to invest in than the relationship you chose to have with your spouse.
There is nothing more important to invest
in than the relationship you chose to
have with your spouse.
Is your marriage heading in the right direction?
What is the direction of your marriage? Are you happy with the health, the joy, the fulfillment, and the future outlook of your relationship? If you are, please share what is helping you by clicking here. If not, consider making a list of things listed above that you can begin trying as a way to raise the level of your marriage to the point you’ve always dreamed it could be.