5 Signs Your Marriage Needs a Reset

Every marriage needs a reset sometimes.  Your phone and computer need to be turned off and then back on periodically.  This is important for software updates.    Just like your electronic devices, your marriage needs updated on occasion.  Your body does this every day.  It’s called sleep.  When was the last time you reset your marriage relationship?  This could be a trip, but it could also be reevaluating your schedule in an attempt to give your spouse the time every day they need from you.  We can discuss the how next time.  For now, here are a few signs that it’s time to reset and reconnect.



One of the first signs that your relationship is not as close as it should be can be observed innumber of  times each day you can acknowledge each other, but simply fail to do so.  It’s when we wake up in the morning.  It’s when we go to bed at night.  It’s in the leaving and arriving.  These times give us at least 4 intentional times of acknowledge our spouse.  It could simply be a kiss on the head if they are still in bed early in the morning or when you come to bed late at night.  It’s the consistency of making the gesture that will feed the relationship daily.  We need to eat every day and so does our relationship.  Feed it so it grows.  



This is not a complete lack of sex.  It is the lack of or the minimal connection through intimacy.  Intimacy is what fans the spark into a flame.  It’s on a different level and will take you to new depths.  This is usually thought of simply as a physical act, but if you two are not engaged emotionally, and even spiritually, you are not achieving the depth that God has intended for your relationship.  If you have not felt that depth of connection for a while, it’s time you set aside time to focus on just that.



If every conversation you two have begins and ends with a defensive tone or stalemated position, then you need to address the deeper issues in your relationship.  One of the signs that your relationship isn’t where it needs to be is the snippy, defensive, and often sharp way you speak to each other.  If this is a pattern that occurs daily, then you can be sure that it’s time for a reset.  



One of the key moments of reset that we have experienced in our marriage happens over food.  We have a keen sense that not sitting around the table at home to eat keeps us from being the best couple as well as the best family.  We need that time to be with each other over a meal.  If you find yourself too busy to eat together and your sleeping patters do not sync, then you have to get very specific with your calendar on finding the times that it will.  These are two times that can be coordinated and if left undone, can see your relationship drift.  If you are not synced in these two areas, it’s time for a reset.



When was the last time you two laughed together?  If you cannot answer that, then you need a reset.  How can you claim to have a healthy relationship without happiness, and how can you be happy if you never laugh together?  Content? Maybe.  Suitable? Perhaps.  Happy?  Highly doubtful!  You need smiles and laughter on occasion.  If it’s been a while, then plan a reset.  Plan to laugh!

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