Sharing The Bed

I can safely say, no one explained to us how to share the bed as a married couple.  It’s just one of those things that you figure out, I suppose.  We’ve all grown up with the idea and most of what we think of is learned from TV.  Some of you may flash back to Ricky and Lucy in I Love Lucy, Carl and Harriet Winslow from Family Matters, or Tim and Jill Taylor from Home Improvement. 

The way couples went to bed and rose in the morning was portrayed in a carefully scripted way impressing on us the idea of what it is to share a bed.

I’m going to bring some insight to those who are single or newly married.  If you’ve been married for quite some time like us, maybe you can enjoy the common ground of our marriages through this article, and please, send us anything you experience when it comes to sharing a bed with your spouse!


We all know that the thermostat can be a hot button topic for some people.  The house needs to be comfortable, or at the very least, tolerable for all, but when it comes to sharing the bed, regulating the temperature is much more complicated!  I’ll not go into detail of the factors, but they include decisions about top sheets or just a comforter,  how thick will that top layer be, will there be blankets,  and is a fan involved?  These are all important factors that seem to emerge around 2:00am.  The single greatest factor in all of this is how much, or how little heat does your spouse radiate.  The reality is bodies regulate heat differently.  Some people sweat in their sleep.  Some spouses need to feel your the warmth to be cozy enough while some would lose a whole night’s sleep if your heat radiated directly onto them!  AND WHY ARE HER FEET SO COLD?!  One touch and your dream about deep sea fishing in the Bahamas turns into a nightmare about surviving a winter storm while whaling off of New Foundland!  Brrrrr 


Sure, you can blame it on the dog, or allergies, or a myriad of excuses, but the truth is 45% of people snore* while sleeping.  In fact, snoring affects 57% of men and 40% of women.** If you can relate to these stats, the best thing to do is talk about it, and recognize the patterns.  As spouses, we can help each other by knowing what may be causing snoring and how to remedy it,  or when it’s necessary to seek a medical opinion.  If you are the culprit of sawing logs, it would be wise to listen to your spouse when they try to help predict and prevent your snoring.  After all, you are keeping them awake.


Does one of you set 5 alarms within 10 minutes of each other and hit the snooze repeatedly?  We have found the best way to prevent issues in the mornings, is to talk about your morning schedule before you go to sleep at night.  At the very least, you will not be surprised by the 6am alarm plus 4 minute intervals of a submarine at red alert.


From time to time, you may wake up with a chill only to realize that you have absolutely no coverings over you.  You are once again the victim of the “Covers Thief.”  This is where a top sheet can come in handy.  You simply tuck the sheet under the bottom of the mattress halfway up the side.  This could be a simple fix unless the Covers Thief is persistent.  Depending on if your spouse is a gentle tugger of the covers, or if they channel their inner alligator death roll, you may need to take much further measures.  This one has few fixes but plenty of finger pointing and laughs.


Some ease into bed with the gentleness of a puppy snuggling with his favorite toys, and some approach the bed like the 1984 Olympics, and it’s their turn to execute the Fosbury Flop.  Not even those commercials where they drop a bowling bowl on one side while the wine glass doesn’t spill on the other side could stand up to The Flopper.  Instead of relaxing in the bed, they rip back the covers and cement themselves in the mattress in one swift act, letting out a deep exhalation of air as if they had been holding their breath until that very moment of relaxation.  This is usually the spouse that can fall asleep anywhere and can go from wide awake to Midnight Logger (see above) faster than the 100 meter dash.  No Essential Oils necessary.

There are many other factors in sharing a bed.  These are just a few that relate to our cozy haven.  Let us know what needs to be added to this list!!  Also, if you need date night ideas after the kids go to bed then check out the previous blog!  Thanks for being on the journey with us and remember, marriage is simply something new every day.








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